Your Dreams Are Yours and Yours Alone!
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(Friday, January 23, 2009-)
+10:09 PM]*

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I'd say today was one of the most disappointing and upsetting days.
Everything didn't go according to what was planned. It was the worst. 

For once i actually forgot the word that's based on this outing/event. Unity, reunion. It's really disappointing. My secondary school was made as the meeting venue. We can wait for other slow pokes while watching the concert going on. That went well. Many people strolled to the meeting venue. Our reunion dinner was held in sembawang sakae. There was a reason why it was held there. And i discussed it with some people who approved it. I was the organizer. A pretty lousy one. I chose that location because they offer vege delights which out dear yinxiu needs. They offer terriyaki too- some outlets dont. Sakae was in dim-light. Perfect location. I thought sembawang's eng wah was still opened. It was closed. I thought maybe we could catch a movie after that. The plan was haywired from then on. We booked the room. Joey wanted everyone to sit together in that one big table and chat altogether about things. There was some other unexpected guest who came. There won't enough slots to begin with- even if they wont there. We had to occupy 3 odinary tables instead. And as was predicted, we oriented to sit with the people closest to us. Didn't went well too. Sigh...

Then came the re scheduled plan to go to orchard. It was a shock. More or less stunned me. When an incident caused 1 big group to seperate into 2 parties and go on their seperate ways, after reaching orchard.
I was really upset. I didn't talk. I didn't give any opinion. It's really hard. I didn't know who to go with. It's like, if you follow this group, you'll think about the other. If you're in the other, you'll think about the 2nd group. I still have to make a decision. 

And I just cant figure how a group of us, going together to the same exact location suddenly just seperate their ways.
It's an irony. The event was based on this word...reunion.
And so i figured...leaving the situation was the best solution.

What have i done...


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Monday, January 19, 2009-)
+12:41 AM]*

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Sometimes it's hard. Hard to live on. With the curiousity and all the mysteries around me. I wonder when time to come, wonder if i would get accepted by the society. At this rate i'm going, i dont think i've made any progress. Am i not trying hard enough? Or are they expecting more...
I don't know. But i really want to find out. How? It's like everytime you're facing an individual, you'll have to change your speaking attitude to suit the listener. I find it hard. It's not just hard. It's almost implausible. There's so many billions millions people around the world. Singapore itself holds more than a million people. Sigh. 

I live in my world. But then, i hope my world will understand my feelings too. I have what i want, what i need and what i think... What i think may be wrong. I just need to be corrected. I just don't wish to be hated.

Ohoh, i went church with joey last sunday. The pastor said this, 
"The difficult, we do first. The impossible takes a little longer."
I thought that was really meaningful. I will excel! Let my new journey commence!...


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Sunday, January 18, 2009-)
+10:06 PM]*

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I'm not sure if i'm sick. I don't feel sick. I feel perfectly fine. But there's alot of phlegm in my throat. So much so i can feel the itch. But i have no sore throat, I have no cough. What's wrong?

I just returned from an early reunion dinner. My dad's jackpot friend booked 2 tables at the coffee shop. The whole family was invited. And some others [jackpot friends] too. For some reason, we seperated ourselves. The jackpotters, mainly all men and only one woman, sat on one table. The mothers and children sat ORDERLY on the other. My god, it was horribly awkward. So awkward that we can tell each of us are feeling awkward. It's very obvious. For instant, once we sat down and settled, we, the children, have nothing to do. The next moment, we're all making full use of our phones to keep ourselves occupied. Oh, they are all around my age. +/- 3 years.
I bet they're begging their own friends to keep them company, virtually. Cause that was what i did. Thankfully, my buddy knows how to keep me company. I just wish she'd change her sms tone to something louder and longer.

My mother has been making me do spring cleaning recently. The dust and dirt flew all around. Didn't know my room contained to much dust. My mother said if i can keep my room tidy and clean for a month, she'd consider letting me adopt a cat. She made my day. I hope she meant what she said.


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Tuesday, January 13, 2009-)
+11:15 AM]*

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Yesterday was the moment i got back my result. I can't say i did well, but i'm very satisfied with it.
Then think about it, there are people who aren't. I'd say this isn't the end for them. They'll have my support in what ever they wish to do and what they think will be right.

Sometimes i wonder, how could people be so brave as to hold back their painful emotions just for the sake of others?
Why they do that? And how? To be with people who're happy, and made themselves seem to be happy, made a false preception that they're indeed satisfied with their result. But it's false. They're not satisfied but made themselves look happy just for the sake of others. And when the truth comes out, they're badly hurt and they cry profusely. I'd say they're brave. I feel sorry for them too.

Anyways, i wish with my might to get to the course i've always been waiting for. Please let the points to attend my course be higher than usual!


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Thursday, January 8, 2009-)
+8:53 PM]*

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When I'm going out today, this person whom i wished NEVER to come came. It was a mood killer. Grumpy. 
Today, when i left for home and think of tomorrow, i'll always wish the specific person to come. But tomorrow came and that person not...
Why the feeling? Why this weird?


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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The Divine!