Your Dreams Are Yours and Yours Alone!
Tagboard way below this page.
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(Wednesday, October 29, 2008-)
+6:56 PM]*

# -
After so many days, i am tired. And i'm bored. And i wonder, "how am i going to live after all this"

My fun days are soon to be over.

And i'm hungry! I miss the bad food in school! i miss the good food in school! I miss the rice! Either dry or wet. I miss the drinks! Drinks are everywhere though... I miss the fun! I miss all the chit chat. I miss the fights! I miss the field! I miss watching my friends play! I miss the arguments. I miss school! I miss vanitha's sarcasm! I miss Birthday bashes! I miss mr low! I miss the smell of the toilet in school. I miss getting wet in school! I'm tired! And i miss school! I wish i dream about it...with all those that should be in it.


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Monday, October 27, 2008-)
+12:30 PM]*

# -
I LOATHE CHINA!
They're a china piece of shit! The government of China shouldn't be given the place to stand there and talk their craps away. They're the worst bullshits on Earth EVER! What kind of bastards do they think they are? Why do they even lived!? Fuck you China! We have the rights to call you china for all i care! Because you indeed is living in a grade far below than us! At least we know what's right and what's wrong. YOU on the other hand, YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU PUT MELAMINE IN YOUR MILK ALTHOUGH YOU KNEW IT KILLS! You selfish lot of assholes! All you care about is yourself youself AND YOURSELF! You've created a massives massacre of huge magnitude because you wanted to earn more income than giving input for your sources. 
YOU KNEW MELAMINE KILLS! BUT YOU STILL USE IT IN MILKS! A PRODUCT YOU KNOW WE CONSUME! 
You worthless pack of cunts! You even killed your own people! BABIES!!!
You suck you know that!
How could the government even allow that to happen! Just because they wanted the olympics to occur in China! Just because the government didn't want the world to know the truth. Just because you didn't want to lower your reputations! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK FOR HELPING THAT CHINA COMPANY COVER FOR ALL THESE NONSENSE!!!
You made fake eggs. You made fake paos. You made fake medicines. ALL FAKES! I guess you're even fakes. BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE! You're just monsters who care nothing but all about yourself!
Fuck YOU China, FUCK YOU!

Yeah, the government can jail me! I DON'T CARE! This is my blog, i write what's in my mind. AND THAT'S THE FACT! In fact, the government have no rights to jail me!

Jail me for saying the truth. Jail me for criticising a country that killed so many people. Jail me for saying they're worthless. Jail me for saying this to the world. Jail me for speaking my thoughts. Jail me for ranting in my blog. Jail me because my father was a victim!

China...how are you going to compensate all this....


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Sunday, October 26, 2008-)
+3:11 PM]*

# -
Laugh my arse out. 
I've been getting really weird dreams lately... 
This time's better than the previous one. It's about me getting my O's result...
The venue was that area just outside school... 
Meaning i was throng with people just outside my school gate.

The funny thing was, our O's result appears from thin air. And YinSong was one of them who was getting the O's result too... He was the only friend in my dreams this time. 

Anyway, his result appeared to him first. His english was a straight A2! And all his other subjects won't badly done too. More of Bs and lesser Cs. I got mine after i'd seen his. 
I got A1 for english!
A1 for FnN!
A1 for Science!
A2 for Maths!
A2 for humanities.
But the funny thing was...i got C5 for chinese. Boy was it a spoilsport. Straight away i knew i was dreaming my way off, so i forced myself awake.
This is insane!

Like hell i would get this kind of result. It's almost perfection! Anyway, i recalled something. I told huiting i dreamt i scored well for my O's in one of my other dream(didn't get to see the result. But people told me i did well)...
Huiting said "you know hor, dreams are vice versa to reality. If you get all A1s in you dream, you'll expect what you'll get in reality"
@=( 
I gave her a dirty look. Then Tina said "Don't worry lar! You won't score all F9s de lar. Think you'll just pass all you exams or get Bs lor."
*Clench fist*

I'm so glad my year end is coming. No longer have to stay around the infernal area and get myself all wrecked up.
I'm seriously looking forward to my class chalet. Would seem really fun. I slept alot in the previous one. Missed out alot of crucial and fun things (besides having to drink...eerrghhh).
I trained myself well i think, i'm sleeping a little later than usual already. Haha, wonder how the whole preparation is going now. Seem to me there's alot of people making this thing together. 

Sigh. I'm trying hard. I think i lied too much. I guess i have to make up to many people. It makes me feel like a hypocrite. They all thought so well of me. Thought i was their friend. Thought i could be trusted. I'm just confused... Sometimes, i don't really understand myself too. It just comes naturally...
I need somebody...


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Saturday, October 25, 2008-)
+4:56 PM]*

# -
This was my suckiest day ever. I finally finished The Avatar online today. It was totally awesome! I love their perfection in graphic, and their sarcasm in wisdom are really good. It was a good ending...but it could be continued. There were some parts that were missing... made the video incomplete. My day sucked because my mum woke me up at 10am to go to the temple to pray to my ancestors. I hate it. And i keep dozing off. What's with those people? They act like those who are dead are still alive! They're only alive in us... what's the need to pray to them at some other place when those dead have always been our side. I say, i'll not be praying to my ancestors or my parents after i grow up. 

I realise something. I had the weirdest dream yesterday. I dreamt of people in my school. It's something like there's a new group of people creating a new belief. And one of my classmate was sarificed for that whole ritual. Meaning he died. But it gets weird there. 

There was Joey, Sakina, BingShun, Huimin, JiaQi and Jenifer. I don't really know how it started, but me, Joey, Sakina, Huimin, JiaQi and Jenifer were walking on an underground tunnel towards an MRT station. Joey was walking ahead. me, Sakina and Jenifer were walking and chatting together. HuiMin and JiaQi were like slow pokes coming from another universe. Far behind us. The time we reach the MRT station, the train came. The 2 tortoise were behind and we urge them to hurry. We didn't really wait for them. I remember we were already inside the train when we shouted to them. They didn't run, just continued walking... The door closed eventually, and we acted like they won't really with us all that while. After that, they didn't appear in my dreams anymore. 

Sometimes dreams work this way, you background will change almost immediately. It was night. And we were walking on a pathway, surrounded by HDBs. It's like halfway through, there was this normal looking brick pathments. There were flame torches by the side and a coffin at the very end. There was a man standing infront of the coffin, and a lady a few stones throw from the man, but she was looking at the opposite direction of the coffin. She was sort of weeping. This comes the complication. I don't really know what's going on too. We asked the lady what was going on. She said they are starting a new religion. And the person in the coffin was sacrificed to complete this ritual. Then she said something about him murdering another person, and committed suicide after that. That's why he was made as the person to be sacrificed. 
PS: I don't know the faces of the man/lady. Not farmiliar. And i think there were other people part of the ritual.

For some reason, we waited for the whole ritual to end. That freaky man suddenly just opened the coffin. I have no idea why, but the four of us just dashed towards that coffin to have a good look at who was being sacrificed. That person wasn't dead. He was more of asleep. And he woke up after the coffin was open. It's BingShun. I was stunned. Everyone was i guess, so we started questioning him how the hell he got into this matter. He said he was being preserved, and he wasn't in good condition. One thing i know, is he looks like a few years younger than he is now, in reality. He'd a raspy voice and he didn't want to say anything about what happened and if he murdered anybody. So Joey told me to shut up already...

After that, my mum woke me up to get ready for maths paper1.

Ohyeah, before this dream, i had another. I was in pokemon island catching pokemons! Cool yeah?


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Friday, October 24, 2008-)
+6:16 PM]*

# -
There is a reason why i like cartoons and animations so much. It's a complex reason. It's not just that i like cartoons so much i'm so over obsess with it. I guess it's because it teach me loads of things. And those things are able to go into my head. Unlike reality shows, cartoons are able to draw out a much clearer picture about what things are like. The exaggerations and the cool pixel animation just rocks me from this world, somewhere far away, experiencing things that normal human beings cannot act on. A cartoon is far better than shows put up by humans. A cartoon is perfect and made to be perfect. It brings out the fact of true life in the whole. But humans can't. Because to err is human.

o.O so that explains stuffs?

Anyway, it's great exams are ending. I'm so going to burn the knowledge after all this bullshiting.
I find avatar really interesting. It's cool and funny and sarcastic... and alot of friendships. I want to water bend! It's really awesome.
APPA, YIPYIP!
XD


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Wednesday, October 22, 2008-)
+2:02 PM]*

# -
A few days back, i was having my science practical. I couldn't really say it was a total disaster, but i did something a candidate shouldn't have done. I wrote my physics' data in pencil. It was clear cut that the markers wouldn't mark them. They won't mark answers written in pencils. I lost 4 marks just like that. Then again, they might mark it. The instructions on my cover page said this "Only graphs, tables and rough works can be written in pencil". My data was a table.

-->unknown<--
      -->.<--


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Tuesday, October 14, 2008-)
+7:46 PM]*

# -
Today was fun, but wasn't fruitful. I still like it one or another.

Woke up at 7am today because i had remedial lessons at 8am. I learnt my lesson through previous experiences. So i strolled around my house and took my time. Blahblahblah....chemistry ended, but i wasn't able to understand what i wanted to understand.

Anyway, me, joey, ruiqing and boris decided to study in sakae sushi [buffet]. Well, buffet starts at 3pm. And classes ended at 11am. I've prepared a shorts so i wouldn't need to go home after school just to change. After changing, i went to the study room to study. I felt different, probably because my mind was fully awake. I couldn't concentrate on my studies. Kept thinking else where. Thinking about things. Since i couldn't really study, and i don't like forcing information in to a living-dead brain, i went to the yishun stadium. Alot of memories trapped there. Looked around the stadium for awhile. 

15 minutes later, i heard footsteps. More like jogging. And true enough, there came a jogger. Behind that jogger, was Bing Shun! I got stunned. Didn't know the world was so small. Well, Singapore is small. I know.

Anyway, i burnt time there and left for Sembawang after that. Killed alot of time inside the arcade. I wasn't playing. Just looking. 

Then Boris came. Followed by Ruiqing. Then Joey flew over. Bing Shun was coming too. But we didn't wait for him. Inside, we crapped hella lot. Alot of laughters. Couldn't eat because my stomach was really painful. So i went to shit. When i came back, i saw BingShun. Don't mistaken me, it's an hour later from 3pm before he reached. Meaning the time "now" is 4pm. 
They say i demoralised myself alot. Actually, no. I just want to be safe. Just don't want any unhappiness. I know some people wouldn't want to be like some other person. 

Ahaha, then i made a fool of myself too. Fooled alot! So they laughed alot. I'm not stupid... i just think it's something fun to say. No harm anyway. 

Deserts came with the red plates. Food on the red plates were placed on ice bags. So i remembered that ice bags were formed by endothermic chemical reaction. RuiQing didn't believe me. I showed him the text book, but he said it was only for the atheletes kind of ice bags. Anyway, we argued about it. I got really pissed. I just hate competition. Hate competing with friends. But it just occurred. I might be dumb. But it doesn't mean what ever i said are just junks spurting out of my mouth. I know he didn't mean it anyway. So we stopped the arguement abruptly. 

Ice cream was nice. Mine was yam flavoured. Desired to trade with them, but none wanted yam. Anyway, we didn't study much, though the main aim was to study. They decided to go to coffee beans to study. I didn't stay for long. Left home to continue stuffing food (dinner) down the throat. 


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Monday, October 13, 2008-)
+9:11 PM]*

# -
Today i was suppose to meet joey at 10am at sembawang to study. My phone rang at 9.30am. That was when i woke. Joey called me and hell, i was late for sure. But nevertheless, i reached there earlier.

We ordered our food after reaching mos burger and started munching on the fries. Mos burger is the only fast food restaurant i've seen, to weigh their fries. Boon came after that. But he left together with Tommy half way through.

Was abit sluggish, but started intensive studying somewhere around 3pm. Joey stopped chatting because she gave birth to an ulcer which started aching her. 

I left mos burger at 6pm. I've to get to the temple by around 7pm. Needed to pray there, for good results for me and also for them. I stand up to them... let's move on as one.




The heart is stronger than you think...
If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough,
but the heart keeps telling you don't give!
Just stand up!


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Saturday, October 11, 2008-)
+10:43 PM]*

# -
I woke up early today because my daddy woke me like bloody hell early. He's a pig in the mud! Shouldn't he be sleeping too? But i got up at 9am.
On my computer early too... Did nothing but play grandchase. It's rather addictive to me.

Well, time flew pretty fast. Anyway, i got pawned like nobody's business. Kept being thrown or pushed down the gorge/pit. It's was @##$^*@@ damn annoying. Those khaki hedious creatures better watch out. Eat my fist after O's!

I started strolling into my bathroom at around 11.25am. Start rushing off after my bath. I had to reach Causeway before 12am. But there was a disruption... The MRT heading marina bay got jammed in between its tracks for what ever reason i care. I just know i was going to be late, no thanks to that. That useless train delayed my train for 50min! Jenson suggested me to take a bus to the interchange. So i did. On my way, people started pushing here and there... Like what's with them? It's not like they're about to die... Yet they acted like ants heading for shelter before thick drops of rain pop on them. Assholes! I was lucky i didn't fall. 

I reached the bus stop. You have no idea how the pile of shit lot of people were there, all waiting for the same bus! To add on that irritating business, it was drizzling. Then police arrive. The the fire fighters and other emergency nouns. Thought it might be nothing. It turned out an idiot either fell in/tried to get his/her thing/suicided. God knows, i don't know. But i hope he/she will be fine.

Dispite the delay, i still got there earlier. Went into the CD shop to have a look at the latest cartoon. Not interested. Then RongLe and Jenson came. *fast foward*

Went to library study in the end. I managed to do some work... Then i heard alot of sniffing. I was surprised how one person could be fine in one minute, and was sick in the other. Yes, Jenson caught a cold. But he didn't bother much about it too. 
As predicted, Nicholas came at around 5pm. An hour later, we left.


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Friday, October 10, 2008-)
+4:51 PM]*

# -
As usual, i have to wake today for chemistry remedial. The feeling of having to wake up early after sleeping late is really painful. 7am in the morning. Walked around the house, half dead. Just couldn't open my eyes wide enough to look around Earth. I would not lose an opportunity in shutting my eyes even just for a few seconds.

So after i brushed my teeth, i sat in the toilet bowl as usual to empty my bowels. Any ordinary TIRED person would close their eyes while they shit right? I did that. Eventually, i fell asleep on it, dispite of the uncomfortness. 
I'm not sure what happened after that, but i know i became sane just so suddenly. Wasn't really sure of the time, but i know i wasted alot of it sitting on that round piece of shitting equipment. So i rushed my bath time and finally got out of the bathroom. 40min flew past. 

I know i was going to be late. Ate breakfast like i had the hell of hundred few zillion billion minutes left to spare. Then slowly strolled out of house. Wonder why i actually rushed in that crappy squeezy bathroom.

Well, nothing much really happened today...
Vanitha thought us a few other skills in chemistry as usual.
Also gotten 2storeys thick of FnN notes. That's hell ya lot you know? But Mandy typed every single page herself. It's remarkable... more of touching. For us... I need to do well. 5 years in my school just for this infernal day to happen. I will not put it to waste.

I went lunch with my friends after everything. 
Initially went to macdonald's, but they realise they didn't really wanted macdonald's. So we went to one of the nearest coffee shop.
I ate dumpling noodle! Smack! Delicious!!!
Didn't bother what the others were eating, i like my food. But there's a fellow beside me who whined about the spicy content in his food. Endeavoured to trade his dish with mine. Fat hope! 
But i know he was only joking. 
Offered a dumpling to him since he was in such an agony. He didn't want it. 
Anyway, i went home after some chats. 

I'm now typing because i'm really sick of studying. Which bloody shit created such a thing as studying and working? May I rip his ass off his pathetic body if i ever see him. Just like what stickman did... He deserves it!

I need a hero. TV always show super heroes saving nondescript people. Where's one here? I need a hero!!!


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Thursday, October 9, 2008-)
+7:15 PM]*

# -
Today i went back to school to attend my chemistry remedial. I was told that my class will not have any combinations with other classes during the remedial. Our teacher was disappointing. She forgot about us and offered another remedial lesson to another class. My friends and i had to move into the limited area for lessons. Not happy. But everything turned out fine in the end.

I saw Boris today too! He slimmed like hell. Bing Shun laughed at him for not having any nutritional content in his body. But i couldn't see any difference. Haha. I sat with him during chemistry remedial too. As sarcastic as was ever. Hell yeah, i was making a fool out of myself and he just couldn't stop his laugh... 
Me and my big mouth. Spurting nonsensical words out of my mouth. 

Vanitha also told me to be more respectful and not be rude. I yelled at her when she took away the answers from the projector. I yelled like that

Me: ARGHHHH!!!!

Obviously, i was slow in copying stuff. Anyway, any ordinary person would also order her to replace the answers back to the projector. I got the shit from her. So i learnt. This time, i said in my common tone and was really polite.

Me: Miss Vanitha, i haven't finished copying yet.
Vanitha: Copy it later...

I learnt a valuable lesson. Some people only talk crap. Don't believe everything-even when it seem truthful!

Jenson seemed really gloomy today-for some reason. I'm not sure if it's because of studies. But it most likely seem so. Couldn't really tell though. Maybe i should help him if i could...
Like hell... i always wreck things up.
Oh, he changed his url and blog skin too! I kind of like the skin. It's really neatly done. Looks really magical. I like magical stuffs, magical stuffs are cool!

I need to help Nicholas too... I think i can. Ahh, i'm not sure. I can't just leave him to die. He was good with me for a few years after all...

Life just suck. 


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Saturday, October 4, 2008-)
+11:22 PM]*

# -
Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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+5:51 PM]*

# Yesterday...was the last of everything....-
Yesterday was the last day. It was the last day of everlasting fun, the last day of bonds, the last day of carefree days, the last day of everything.

Although i got the chance to experience this stage of life for another year, it's still not enough. Basically, nothing was enough. I'm blessed i could say. I had fun, honestly. Even the bad times we had, had form into fond memories. 

Yesterday, when they tore off that piece of art, my heart ached. It's over. I could feel it, i was going to cry. But joey said we've to move on. And i realise, life's like that. It gives me the fun, but it also gives me the cruelty in equivilent. I fought back my tears. It was then i realise, all those arguements were nothing. It couldn't ruin the fact that we are indeed friends. How much we hate each other were just fakes and hillucinations. 

4 years ago. I was just a one short geek being played around with. 
No strength no place no friends. 
So much so that i hated going to school. I feared schooling! I had nothing there. And most of all, i hated the people around me.

4 years later, all had changed. What i hated is now what i cherish most. We grew much, talked much, played much. What now? It's time for what's most unbearable. 
Yesterday, we were told one thing -that class was no longer ours. I've signed out my report book. We're no longer a class anymore. I no longer own a form teacher anymore. I can no longer do things the way I did those few years ago.
No more fights, no more arguments, no more teamings. No more carnivals, no more chats in school, ...no more school.

My emptiness was filled with all they gave me. I know I'm not alone. They are always around me. There's alot i couldn't put into words. I hope what i tried to do made them notice that i'm trying to convey something to them. I wonder what my life would be after all this... What will i be? 

I suddenly like the life i had in the past. Where there were alot of fights and stupid incident. I'm glad all those happened. It's what school life should be. I didn't enjoy it then. But i know it's worth it. It's now part of me. I guess many things that happened before won't bother me anymore. But it's really unbearable. Many say that secondary school life is the only life where you experience most things together with different people. It's what cause unity. It's the reason why I'm sad. That unity will soon vanish. No one will remember the feeling of this day after everything else. 

I know I'm an irritant to many many many people. I know they are annoyed by me. I stayed on because i want to be with them. I know this day will come. So what if i irritated them and left a somewhat bad impression of me in them? At least i'm still remembered. Honestly, i couldn't remember much of my primary school friends' name -I don't even remember most of them! I don't want that to happen to me and them. I know i'll remember them. There's so many things about them i can remember for life. Both happy and sad. 
I hope i wouldn't be avoidedbecause of my attitude. I want to spend the last of these few days with them all, just before we part. And i hope many won't walk out of my life. The foot prints will always lay in my heart. It's a really great impact. 

I know i won't live another life like this... It's just like how i missed my primary school days. Somehow, i know they feel the same way.



I'm not afraid to cry. 
But a friend told me it's needless.
I know i will someday soon.
And i hope they'll all be by my side.
I really love them...



Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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The Divine!