Your Dreams Are Yours and Yours Alone!
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(Wednesday, July 30, 2008-)
+6:47 PM]*

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Funny how my class can be so united at time. Want to know more? Ok..
So this is how it started. Today, our teachers sent out 6 student for our grduation book pohto shoot. One is down with chicken pox(rq). The other had a bad swollen eye(mich). Too awful to be in the picture. So she pleaded me to take over her. Initially, i rejected, but she got more persistant. Weak/soft heart, i agreed.

So at the last period of our lessons/classes (Life skills) I was at a disasterous state cause i look shabby. Like how the hell am i going to face the camera. Of course i regretted much as i would have done naturally (it always happens). So i told one of my friend(zy) this
"Sigh! i look ugly to face the camera" And then almost too suddenly, she stood up.
"I help you style your hair want?"
Of course i was surprise...she already walked towards her bag and dug out the hair wax material thing. I agreed without any reluctance. And then, another came(yx) and offered to help. I was fine with it. So they started to grab my hair and pull it what so ever. It's pain alright. Darn! I way almost shrieking. Then another came to help(bk). Don't know if they have no feeling while styling their own hair or what but i get the sharp intensive pain whenever they grab and pull mine! Man. Then another came(bs). And it just went on and on. Soon, i realise the whole class was around me. I was obviously uncomfortable with it. Even my own form teacher stood there and smiled =.= And some funny memorable stuffs happened. But i shall not evaluate...some people might get embarrassed.

But the photo shoot was pretty alright. The guy just told us to smile for around 1-3min and boy, cheek bone was aching and i felt like my smile was getting more unatural. Like i faked it. I took over mich's place while jenson took over rq's place. yeah. So still 6 people from class 5b1.


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Tuesday, July 22, 2008-)
+8:41 PM]*

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Something horrible happened today. Frankly, i was shocked and got frightened. Ever seen a dormant volcano turn active just all of a sudden? Without any warning? -I'm using the volcano as a person.- Well, i've seen it. It was scary.

I can't say much because it's not easy to bring it out. But i just want to say...we're friends for 4 whole years and we spent most of our tough times together. I thought it was a stronger bond we've created...
Yes we do joke on stuffs you wouldn't like...but wth would we just want to explode just because of this? I don't really think it's worth it. Ever thought what would happen to the person being confronted? Sigh...some things are hard to forget. Hmm...i remember i was frequently in this kind of situation..it's so hard to forget. The worst nightmares ever in my damn lives...and then, i thought they're over...for good. sigh. last year? happiness? laughter? peace? what bullshit...what friends...! What's in everyboby's mind?..why can't i understand!

PS: He shouted :"HE's YOUR FRIEND!".


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Saturday, July 12, 2008-)
+1:19 PM]*

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This post is linked to the post wrote yesterday night.
Guess what? It's a family problem. Rather big. You see, my dad is the youngest among the three. He's has a sister(my aunt) and a brother(my uncle). Well, both my dad and hit elder brother hated my grandmother for a particular reason, which -until now- i hadn't quite understand what it was. Only his elder sister comes back home to visit her every week on Friday. My uncle only returns on big occasions and the Chinese Lunar New Year. They never liked her.
My grandmother had been hospitalized recently earlier this year. She had been discharged a few months ago. It's all because of her fragile, brittle leg that caused all this stupid problems. Well, the bill is costly...and all three of them forked out equivalent money to pay the bill.
She'd been trouble all along. Kept complaining about her leg, then complain that she'd headache and all sorts of nonsense. But usually, whenever we meet the doc for a check up, she's perfectly fine! Yet we still have to pay up for that trouble she caused us. Recently, it happened again. She complained that her leg is numb. Frustrated and annoyed, my uncle called back and asked my grandmother this
"You think we are very rich? You think we can afford all that you have caused?"
My grandmother said this
"Yes!" Obviously she'd blew my uncle up.
"Then we're now very poor. We can't afford to pay for the bills. The next trip to the hospital no need to go ok?"
"Ok!" And my grandmother cut the line off.

So my dad canceled the appointment. And she'd forget about meeting the doc for 2months. Wth is this?


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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+1:03 PM]*

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Now adays, life seem weird. To me. Something had changed. Probably it's just me, well i don't really know. I'm stuck at home trying to persuade myself to finish up my coursework. Horrible man! Still need to get ready for coursework B on monday. Sigh!

SUCK!


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Friday, July 11, 2008-)
+9:55 PM]*

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It's around 10pm now. I hope it rains. Makes me comfortable. And it comes best at night. The light cool breeze swift through my skin.

Well. I'm not feeling good now. It's a very bad feeling. And I'm beginning to hate. Always trying to find trouble for us, making the unity break down. It so sucks. She knew she's in trouble and that she needed help. Why the heck must she make problems bigger and more complicated. Doesn't she know that people think for her, and that she need not do any stuffs just to catch attention. Why?!

I just needed to say it out. No where to release it...so i thought of making use of the blog.


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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+7:00 PM]*

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I stayed back in school today till pretty late. Well, practically i was doing nothing. My friends were in the school's kitchen working and practising for the coming F&N practical test. I didn't do it because i didn't have time to get the ingredients ready.

So after school, we left our bags in the kitchen and rush off to the market(NTUC) to get the left out ingredients. Met Wee Teck (5B1 form guardian[teacher]) just before we step outside school and he wanted us to get him coffee. We told him each of us will get one for him. He will forget about sleeping for a week then!
While they were busy ransacking for the needed stuffs, i was searching for things to fill my growling stomach. Got a sushi and a waffle. But i still wasn't contented.

We splited into 3 groups in the end. 4 of us headed for ABC supermarket, 2 of us went to find the 4 after that, while the last2 stayed to pay for their items. The 2 met the 4. The last2 were still paying up. But we got coffee before heading back school. Handed it to Wee Teck when we reached and told him each of us had spitted into the coffee (It's fake). Smiled in an evil way together and left. Heard one of the admin staff in the general office said we are so kind to their own teacher.

Then the last 2 came. Guess what. They were holding on to another bag of coffee. LOL. Took it to WeeTeck. He said we pranked on him. Hahas. What a coincidence!

They started working on their practical later. 2 D&T students stayed with us... there was 1 other F&N student who, like me, didn't prepare for this trial.Well, they did help those working on their practical. =) Great friends huh? I didn't do anything to help them out. Hah! Yeah...i'm a bad friend. While they were proccessing, i was engrossed in my book i've been reading for the past 1 week. Managed to finish off the book just after they had finished. Tasted all their food. Boy do our class have talent. They did it for only once or twice and the taste is superb. Serious. But not sure of the hygiene. Then we start clearing things up. This time i helped. And i was shocked when one of my god grand daughter said she'd never mopped the floor before and was excited about it. Booya! First time i heard that kind of ridicule.

Ok...done with the school part.

Then as usual...dejavu, i rode my bike home.


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Thursday, July 10, 2008-)
+10:42 PM]*

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I'm thinking alot today.
I'm not sure what i did was right. But i was only following what i think is right...I'm following my heart.
It may not be the best thing to do...but it's gotta be done. And like always, we will finally realise something. I might not learn...but i'd known.

It's that one difference that makes some friends not be able to be with one another, or understand one another. By always seeing other friends as the better ones, yet you can't have them, degrades what you have in your hand...which is actually of equivalent stage. It might not seem now...but it's there. You've only got to believe. And then, it's the promising bond that makes others know others and want to know more. It's the initiative. Unless it is really you don't want to share what burdens you with what you think is what you call as close friends or even a best friend, then you should be talking about...because you want to be with them and you want them to talk you in. Why wait till they ask and realise another thing about you? It's frustrating, but because we are friends that us want to tolerate craps each other gives. And when it's finally at that ultimate stage, we will realise we're actually laughing at the craps we give each other. That's what you want isn't it? That's what's yet to be achieved.

The fact that i feel lonely isn't because i'm really lonely or whatever. I just feel it. Maybe because i lead a too simple life. Just so that everyone always have things to say to each other but i don't. Because what ever friends say, either i have no idea to it, or that i cannot continue the conversation. And then...just get the feeling of being left out. It's not the only reason. There's many...so much so that i can't even understand myself. I find myself weird... i want to be with them.

I'm just stating my thoughts....i've been thinking for awhile. It's not to any specific person but something occured in me.

PS: I didn't need it because i think you think i'll say it out.


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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+6:38 PM]*

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Since dear Audrey had opted to stop talking about our English teacher mrs. Pandian, i've decided to take over her business.

Let me give you a background information. Before this, we had another english teacher who taught us well and bonded with us. She has to go now because she'd a course to make. But others said she's on maternity leave...like where is the bulky stomach. No significant evidence at all...
So came this colossal fat ass mama english teacher. She's OLD! But she's lightning quick. Every time before our previous lesson ends, she'd be outside our damn door waiting to be invited in. Mind you, our class is at the last floor, last block, last class. AND SHE'S FAT! What an irony. How could one so obese be faster than that of our skinny form teacher?! Well, he's really skinny, he's got the gut.... But he's skinnier. Anyway, IMagine that! It's so....cartoonic!

So why do i hate her? Easy, she suck to core! She's got this very inefficient teaching method and she thinks it is helping us. The fact is, we're being hypnotised....almost half the class built castle in the air. SO how does she teach you ask? Let's take "comprehension" as an excellent example. So she teaches us comprehension like this... copy whatever she wrote on the whiteboard. The only difference is that we help her figure the words she want us to know. How the hell are we helping ourselves like that? And what the hell is that kind of teaching method? Her's method is so different from that of our previous teacher, and she thinks we will adapt to the crap she's going to offer us? Well, even if we can do it, what help will there be? She's just guiding us and helping us dig our graves. We do the same for summary too, she want us to copy the summary and it's done.
So this is what you get from a 40 years of experience teacher. =.= she keeps saying that thinking it could shut our mouth. What a lame shit! Oh...she wants record of those who went to the washroom and how long they are away too. COME ON! People want to go do business also need to record? Does the principal record fat mama's toilet system? Do we need to tell her if we will be doing a big or a small business? She needs to know what kind of toilet we're going to? Gotohell women!

Today i made an effort to keep myself awake. But it's impossible for me if i'm just sitting there and forcing to keep my eyes wide. So i read an english book during english lesson while our english teacher taught us boring english. And guess what? She played tag-o-war with me when she caught me reading it. God damn it. She can go hang herself. No big deal then...she put me to sleep eventually. What a fat bitch. Pain in my ass!


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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(Wednesday, July 9, 2008-)
+6:39 PM]*

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Haven't been blogging for some weeks. Didn't feel like blogging. Well, many things had happened during that time. Unbearable things. It seems over now...but i still get the feeling i have to prepare for something worse. It's just a feeling though.

Hmm...many things is about friends too.
PS: We might share or chat alot online. But it isn't gonna help if we don't talk to each other offline at all. It's rather an odd thing to strengthen bonds behind screens.
Let's just say i'm afraid. But it's a feeling everyone gets...but they never show or tell.

I'm just thinking...dispite nature making so much lifes and similar species increasingly, we still do get the feeling of lonesome. Which seem ironic, but inevitable.
People come and go in your life.
It is a necessity. That's what most people say. Have to endure.

I'm thinking alot today. It's all going to end soon. And when it ends, i hope i get the meaning of it. When it ends, i hope i'd be free from it. But when it ends, the cycle starts all over again. Dejavu.

So people always ask why i call myself a loner. It's a very simple reason actually. But it's not easy to explain. That's what makes things complicated. You may think i've got friends, well fact is i do have...and many. But i don't get the kind of feeling I'm being wanted...or that i'm a friend to anyone. Even those i'm so close with. It's just so tough.
.......


Footsteps;
FreeDom was here...
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The Divine!